By: Nicki Shinn
Parenting is hard! If someone tells you it’s a piece of cake, they aren’t doing it the right way, which to me is vintage parenting. What is vintage parenting anyway and why should we all be making it an absolute priority in this challenging culture we live in? Vintage parenting is a style of parenting that would be considered traditional or old-school. It involves structure, discipline, instilling work ethic, and a solid moral foundation. To me it also involves parenting children in a way that builds tradition and a solid family support system. Family is everything, even if that family comes in the form of friends, neighbors, or other folks in our community that we know we can count on. It’s not the blood that’s important, but the REALATIONSHIPS and trust we build with those in our lives.
I have laid out five guidelines to parenting your children the old school way. Number one, resist the pressure to buy your children video games and smartphones! There were times, when my children were little, that my husband and I weren’t always popular with them. When Christmas time rolled around, and we immediately said no to the Xbox or whatever the latest gaming console was being chatted about on the playground that week, we were not so cool. My husband and I decided early on that video games were not going to be a thing in our home. We consider them a distraction and a waste of the precious years we had to influence, love, and mold them into productive and functioning citizens. There is way too much adventure and exploring to be done to have time for idle video gaming anyway.
The next vintage parenting guideline we follow is everyone contributes to the household without pay! Children of earlier generations were not paid to do basic household tasks and they turned out just fine. Actually, better than just fine. They are considered some of our most innovative and hardest working generations. My children are expected to contribute by maintaining neatness in their space, helping with lawncare and pets, cleaning and maintaining the home, laundry, and contributing to meal prep and clean-up. And don’t wait until they are 8 or 10 years old. Children as early as three can begin to contribute and do small tasks around the house…sorting socks, setting the table, or even feeding the cat. Not only are they contributing to the household, they are LEARNING! They will thrive with this type of structure. This strategy helps children build pride and ownership in their home and possessions. They learn to value the efforts and work of those around them as well as themselves. It also forms bonds and a sense of solid family unity that will carry them throughout their lives.
Although I feel that everyone should contribute and work as part of the family unit, teaching children how to earn is so important. Tasks and jobs that go beyond the daily routine and maintenance of running a home are a great opportunity for children to earn money. I especially feel that it is important to find small jobs outside of the home for other people. Humbling themselves and asking someone for a job is also an aspect of vintage parenting that builds confidence. I saw this with both of my teens when they were seeking summer jobs this year. It was hard to ask that intimidating business owner for a job when you are only sixteen years old with minimal job experience. Through our teaching and coaching him up, my son did just that and is now working full time making a great wage for a teenager. With the humbling experience, comes confidence. Set-up your children for authentic learning and success. Helping a neighbor rake leaves, helping a grandparent or other relative pressure wash their porch, washing a car, or caring for a neighbor’s pet while they are on vacation are just a small sampling of ways children can earn money. Once that money is earned, it is important to teach them how to spend, save, and give a little. Teach them to invest at an early age! I’ll go more in depth on this topic at a later time.
Next let’s talk tradition! Those of us who were raised the vintage way all remember those traditions and routines we had as children that were so special to us. Whether it be that special dinner our mom made to celebrate summer vacation, the special bowl grandma had just for your oatmeal, or that applesauce layer cake that sat on every Christmas dessert table from the time of your earliest memories. Tradition is so important! Having those traditions in place are so critical in building that solid family foundation and instilling in your children a place to always call home. They will remember even the littlest of traditions and will strive to build them within their own families someday.
Lastly, vintage parenting involves teaching your children the basic skills of life. How to order a pizza, make a doctor’s appointment, send an email, change a tire, mail a letter, pay a bill, and maintain a budget. There are so many things that fall into this parenting strategy, I could write on this for days. But these things are so important and are up to YOU to teach them. These skills will go a long way in making them a productive person in society, plus their future spouse will one day thank you!
Your role is not to be your child’s friend. Your role is to lovingly teach and guide them into being a productive human. They don’t need the latest video game or gadget. They don’t need handed money and sent about their way to make their own rules. They need structure and routine, habits and traditions! In a society gone mad, it is my belief that love, connections, family, tradition, and some good old fashioned vintage parenting will bring us closer to the society and nation we all strive for. Raise good humans!
