By: Lizzy from Boston – Lizzyboston143
As I come in hot to what Dr. Tina referred to in a recent reading, as my “Saturn Return”, the building blocks of my personal journey are finally making sense. Perhaps even making a 6th sense. Is it a hero’s journey, who knows? We all have our own odyssey to experience and hopefully when the wheel stops spinning, I’ll consider myself heroic. But in the meantime, here is a glimpse of the spoke where I am currently balancing.
One of the greatest attributes of being longer in the tooth, is the ability to reflect on the thousands of lifetime decisions. Ranging from the miniscule: I must take a foreign language in high school, what should I take? Okay, I love history and language, let’s start at the “beginning”, I’ll take Latin; to the larger more complex decisions, what do I want to be when I grow up?….hmmmm, Okay, I love history, like to read, write, analyze, I’ll go to law school. The silly thing about getting a J.D. is you need secure an undergraduate degree first. What the hell am I going to major in, pre-law didn’t exist back then. So again, okay, I love history, I like to read, write, enjoy linguistics, I’d taken ALLL these years of Latin, so I snagged a B.A.in Classics (Ancient History – shout out to Jeremy Ryan Slate ). Notice a theme? I became a degree collector all the while trying to find “my path”, “my purpose”.
Although not officially a boomer, I’m on the cusp. Born in the mid-60’s, in the epicenter of higher education, Massachusetts. I didn’t mind going to school, I hated math, but I didn’t hate school. I actually loved to learn. Did I know at the time that much of what I was “learning” was a pack of lies, hmmmm, not exactly, hold that thought. The thirst for knowledge (gnosis), the innate desire to research coupled with the overall gnawing of “wanting to know things” has permeated deeply within my soul even when I didn’t recognize its latent existence. I found myself migrating towards teachers, professors (elders) who were enthusiastic about their own craft and preferably fervent storytellers. If they happened to have a decent sense of humor, I was all in. Levity and the ability to laugh has consistently been paramount in all facets of my life. Most importantly, though, I found myself wanting to get to the bottom things. What’s the genesis? What’s it all about Alfie?
Growing up, I recall feeling that I didn’t belong in this modern-day “time-line”. Feeling more akin to preexisting TV timepiece shows like “Little House on the Prairie”, “The Waltons” and an occasional, super wholesome, “Andy Griffith Show”. Each of these back to roots type stories resonated with me – a longing or in extreme cases, even de ja vu. Other must-see TV from my childhood (to an inexplicable level of obsession) included: “Bewitched”, “I Dream of Jeanie”, “Lost in Space”, “Land of the Lost” and “Star Trek”. Say what?!! How does a fact-based seeking history buff, who hates math, be drawn to the woo-woo of the metaphysical?!? Mind you, I didn’t realize at the time those shows could be tabooed as metaphysical but c’mon, time-travel, magic, giants and talking robots, of course they were woo-woo.
As I got older and more removed from the whimsical care-free, youthful imagination, what did the left-brained side of me say to those fond tales of magic, expansion and living in a groovy Jeanie bottle? MUST REPRESS, MUST REPRESS!!! I’m not sure when I learned that that repression was my practical egoic side yammering away at my inner, lighter consciousness to pipe down and stay in its place. But that’s what was happening and its place of course was to remain silent. My own personal Gollum quieting even the faintest side of the creative being that was wilting away on right side of the tracks.
Despite plodding along with 3D life and working within the matrix, I started visiting metaphysical/supernatural bookstores, card readers, mediums and other non-left-brain creators. All the while balancing the legal world: sherardizing and briefing court cases, memorizing the Federal Rules of Evidence, Civil Procedure, and being bombarded with Constitutional jurisprudence. Quick aside, most theory was hidden from us, and I cannot even imagine what a Con Law class looks like in 2022. I wonder if the subject matter is taught any longer, Lord knows it is ignored on the daily by the other co-equal branches of government let alone understood by modern day lawyers.
There was not one course in law school that provided a syllabus on Crystals, The Tarot or Magnetism. These are the classes I really wanted to take! Hint: Magnetism was eventually brought mainstream via new-ager Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret) Oh yeah, I was all in on that. Dr. Wayne Dyer, Abraham Hicks, Gabby Bernstein (whom I manifested into my life, but that’s a story for another day ) were all former self-help muses. Regardless of all my dabbling in the metaphysical, the left side of my brain stayed firmly in charge: Logic, analytics, process, procedure, forms, citation rinse-repeat. FACT-BASED only, magic need not apply.
All hope was not lost however, there was some crossover into where all the magic happens: the Socratic method. Law school teaches you, often quite harshly and uncomfortably, the ability to argue both sides of any issue/case. To keep an open mind without restrictive thinking. Shockingly, as I am sure you are aware, not everyone shares the same opinion. Being taught the ability to pivot to either side of an argument was and remains paramount to one’s “legal” success (you know what they say about opinions and a@@holes, blah blah blah, I digress). There was an important place for law school in my life, but did I want to “be a Lawyer”? Who knows? I knew I liked the challenge of earning the degree, the research and the never-ending gnosis.
Like most careers that involve a “practice,” one never stops learning and, when one does, the jig is up. Not to belabor the years of study that eventually earned me a degree and a cabal issued license to “practice” law and a open a gateway to the matrix. Even after diplomas & licensures were issued, the yearning pangs continued, I was still seeking. There must be more. That hurry and up wait feeling of now what? There must be more? When do I get to learn how to fly on a broomstick like Samantha Stevens? Is there an app for that?
In the years that followed, I carried a briefcase (yes, a briefcase, there were no lap-tops back then) full of legal documents, co-mingling with crystals & oracle cards. Red-rope folders holding yellow legal pads and guidebooks on Archangel Michael & Sacred Geometry. If my bosses only knew!! I was “awake” and I didn’t even know what that meant. I had learned all about co-conspirators and the requisite elements to prosecute perps under criminal law (left-side brain) but my right side was hungry for the TRUTH that would have labeled me a whacko conspiracy theorist!! As time ticked on and I matured in years, the right side of my brain began to interlope more frequently into the steadily rooted, logical left hemisphere. [Quick Footnote; did you know the Latin word for left-hand(ed)/sided is “sinister” further declined to “sinistra” (think sinister)?] Lets’ just say, there are substantive reasons the cabal consistently wants us focused and rooted in THEIR facts, figures and logic. Or as Steely Dan effectively describes: “Pretzel Logic”.
Fast forward, gulp, 30 plus years, toss in a marriage a couple of kiddos, more ebbs and flows and millions of annual decisions. The balancing act and the seesaw of the left-brain/right-brain paradigm continued. Until it finally stopped. Enter March, 2020 when everything changed. 2020 ushered in the greatest global LIE of our lifetime: the fraud that is RONA!!! I refuse to refer to the LIE of the century as COVID-19, the pandemic nor any of the other nonsensical MSM linguistic nomenclature that gets parroted on the daily. I don’t keep tabs on the twisted language of the talking-heads (another great band) nor their talking-point drivel since I shut off the “idiot box”, as my Dad used to refer to it, in February of 2020 and haven’t looked back. Call it divine intervention, (think magic) I quit the crack and removed myself from all “news” one month before the RONA shit hit the fan. Praise the sweet-baby-Jesus!!!
Mind you, up until that point, my constitutional conservative self-had been a complete 24-hour news cycle junkie!! I would go from Talk Radio all day straight through to Fox News all night M-F like clockwork. As little ones in car seats, my kiddos could repeat the call letters and call-in numbers for local Boston talk radio show hosts: Howie Carr, Michael Graham & syndicated hosts like Rush and Jay Severin. The addiction was slightly creepy in retrospect but the consistent desire for gnosis ran deep!!! (BONUS: 2 independent, critical thinking young adults who were not brainwashed by the crime syndicate that is commonly known as the US education system, so there is that).
Fortunately, the right side of the brain is an aggressive little creator, and it will continue to nag at you until you WAKE UP – if you let it. Better yet, if you “allow it”. Since I am not a huge fan of labels, constructs or placing people in boxes, I didn’realize that by the time RONA rolled around, I had been “AWAKE” for decades. However, what had finally become abundantly clear to me is, I didn’t have to choose between the analytics & critical thinking left-side of the brain and the legend & lore of the right. These polarities could coexist (no, no, not THAT leftist “coexist”). In fact, not only could they coexist, but they are a perfect complement to each other. The duality of the macro/micro hermetic principle remains alive and well from the single individual to the massive universe. And maybe just maybe beyond…have I mentioned X-Files yet? Loved that documentary as well, excuse me, I mean “TV show”: Scully = Left-brain / Mulder = Right-brain.
Long before RONA, we, the collective conscious, have been “taught” by the cabal for generations: divide and conquer, separate but equal, pick a side; red vs. blue (pill or politics), black vs. white and circling back (ha!) male vs. female. These cabalistic institutionalized extremist degrees of separation are as old as time. The polarization is chronic, and the methodology typically gets recycled because the cabal doesn’t create, they steal. As Clif High calls them, the “name stealers”. RONA was no different. It was a further attempt to divide the masses on the basis of “health & safety”. More good person vs. bad person, mob rule mentality from a government that hates its constituents: lock-down vs. individual freedom.
The quintessential lesson that RONA has taught, is that EVERYTHING we have been told is a lie. Well, here’s a headline that is not fine for print from a cuspy-boomer, woo-woo lawyer; we are NOT HUMAN BEINGS toggling between the left & right paradigm. We are eternal, spiritual Souls undertaking a physical, 3D meat-suit experience, riding along on the wheel of life. How many times we take a spin on that wheel is up to us. Source, God, Creator, gave us our own individual FREE WILL. Isn’t that awesome? We get to choose for ourselves how many intervals we sustain in the rat-race of the matrix or when we jump off, cash in our chips and ultimately ascend.
My plan, while sliding into my next Saturn Return, is to take the sage advice that Robbie Robertson offered in the iconic song “The Weight”; Take a load off Fanny, Take a load for free… Meet myself squarely in the middle of where left unites with right, TRUTH is revealed, the magic happens and most notably, the cabal is NOT allowed entrance: the Pineal Gland. All the while, emphatically and ABUNDANTLY choosing the number ONE steadfast lesson of all: personal Sovereignty.
