By: Nicolette Behm
Regret is such a heavy word. It comes with guilt, sadness, and disappointment in a choice you might have made along the way.
Let’s talk about that. What makes you regret that choice? The consequences that came along with that decision is probably where the sadness lies.
Of course, we all make decisions in our life that bring us sadness… at the time. The true testimony of strength is how can you take that decision and learn from it ? I’ll take you through some personal examples and how I’ve learned to not only welcome my decision but embrace it.
Picture this if you will, a high school relationship gone wrong. A “bad boy” my parents disapproved of. A true narcissist that felt the world was always in the wrong. I dated this boy for almost three years, although it was over long before that. In high school I didn’t really fit in, I was friends with everyone, yet felt I was liked by no one. The occasional bullies came and went, average player in the sports I played, below average grades. I was super depressed, moments I was even suicidal, I cried myself to sleep most nights with a heavy feeling of a brick weighing on my chest just wishing it would all end. I put on a front of being this girl with such charisma but deep down I hated myself. Every waking moment I was filled with anxiety of who does or doesn’t like me, what I looked good in, etc. Zero self confidence. Which led me to the worst possible relationship of my life; my ex- boyfriend.
My ex was controlling, to say the least. I worked at a local diner, he’d “ask” for $20 nearly every single day, and give me a hard time if I said no, guilting me into it. Checking my text messages, keeping me from friends. He was TOXIC! By 9 months I was done. Now if you remember I said it lasted close to three years, he was so manipulative that every single time I tried to break up with him, he’d attempt suicide. Taking pills, cutting his arms, crying for me not to leave him. For awhile I thought to myself I didn’t want another person’s life on my hands. Until the last straw, the day he became physically abusive. It was always verbally up to this point, psychological. But one night he went out drinking with friends while I stayed back at his mom’s house, he came home in a fit of rage. I walked away, leaving anything I had owned at his house, wouldn’t talk to him, look at him, completely broke it off. This isn’t a “woe is me” story, stay with me here. Going through all this at the ages 16-19, today I thank him.
Yes, you read that right, I THANK HIM.
“Nicolette, that’s crazy, he deserves to be in jail, he was horrible to you.” – yeah, I know but I lived through it. I didn’t just live through it, I survived it! I learned from my mistake and it made me the warrior I am today. I thank him for teaching me exactly what I DIDN’T want in a man. Taught me everything a man shouldn’t be, so going back into the dating world I know what qualities I didn’t want or better yet what qualities I wouldn’t put up with! If it wasn’t for that terrible relationship I wouldn’t have found my husband, I wouldn’t have built the life I have now. I wouldn’t have been able to recognize red flags of controlling men. I wouldn’t have learned to LOVE MYSELF.
So no I don’t regret that relationship our scars in life always tell a story of survival.
Same goes with my son. Having my son at age 22 I was ignorant to the medical cartel. I listened to every pediatrician that came my way, I got him vaccinated. It wasn’t until his one year shots I saw regression. His talking turned into barely a babble, drooling non-stop, the overwhelming heart as I watched him unable to not only express but process his emotions. He was diagnosed with autism at age two and half. My eyes were wide open at that point. Doctors diagnosed him, wanted him doing 75 hours plus of therapy each week. Under the age of 3 and wanted him to be away from me for more time than a full time job, no way was that happening. Not only was it so much time away, that time was costly. Insurance wouldn’t cover it, the bill came with a 90k a year price tag. HELL NO. I found alternatives. I looked into detoxes, the effects of heavy metals on the body, the effects of them on the brain. With research I was able to start healing my son. My prayers had been answered, he started speaking again, we grew together and what truly felt like one of the lowest moments in my life, we turned it into a positive. I know have done so much research, I not only help my son I’m able to advocate for kids and help parents make better decisions for their children.
If it wasn’t for my first decisions to vaccinate I never would’ve had my eyes peeled open to the medical industrial complex. I would have been able to launch my autism/ heavy metal protocol, I’d still be a sitting duck inoculating my children into further regression and lower quality lives.
I know act you’re thinking as you read this, “Nicolette, how can you not regret that? Your son will never be the same.” True, but neither will I. I’m not the same young and dumb mom making terrible decisions. I lived and I learned. My son is now fed with better quality Whole Foods and living a better life then he ever would have had if I had not woken up.
Bottom line, yes our actions have consequences. What you do with those consequences is what is important. Do you learn from them? Or did you let that moment, that one decision defeat you ?
Don’t sit there depressed in the victim mentality.
“Why me?” “Poor me.”
You will never come out on top of anything doing that.
Regret is a fact track way to regression.
Learn every single day. Learn from your mistakes. Learn to love yourself. Learn to grow.
“A warrior’s greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
– Confucius.
